Okay, that was a lie. I only actually want to address a small number of drivers. But that wouldn’t have been a snappy headline. I do digress…Okay, so i’ve only been driving four months myself. But i do a fair old number of miles and i think words need to be had before i implode with rage. Yesterday i spent most of the day running errans in the centre of town which highlighted the need for certain drivers to know the following:
1. If i’m on a road which has a speed limit of say 30MPH and we’re approaching a speed camera, the maximum i’m going to be doing is 30MPH. Driving up close to my bumper in your mid-range BMW or Mercedes and flashing your light’s isn’t going to make me want to go any faster
2. Again, I’m on a 3 lane road. So we’re thinking, M25, A13 that sort of thing. The outside lane is packed with a variety of trucks, artics and busses. I’m chugging along at around about the speed limit in the center lane and you thunder up (again, in your mid-range BMW/Mercedes) tooting and hollaring, flashing your lights. I’m only going to do one thing. DRIVE SLOWER. There’s an empty inside lane for a damn good reason. It’s for those who want to overtake, and those who want to brake the speed limit.
3. Its rush hour, I’ve queued (like the good English man that i am) for 20 mins to get off the A13 and head up towards the blackwall tunnel. Short of having a blue flashing light on your roof or a wife in labour under NO CIRCUMSTANCES will i be letting you push in. Just because you have your fancy (mid-range BMW/Mercedes) car doesn’t mean you can cut a queue.
4. My car, like most other cars, is about 8-12 feet long. As such, when pulling out from a T-Junction i’m going to need at least double that spaces break in the traffic to allow me to pull out when traffic is slow moving, I’m going to need considerably more space if its going faster. If you feel that i’ve taken an inordinate amount of time to make such a maneuver please email me at ivewastedyourtime@rich-porter.com. Yes that is a real email address, and i’ve connected it to my blackberry. Perhaps i’ll stop and read your message and waste even more of your time ? It appears that traffic is too busy for us to get anywhere at the moment anyway.
Finally, i drive an 11 year old Rover 214. This is because i’ve just finished being a student and i’m currently in a poorly paid job. If i had more money maybe i’d have a better car ? Maybe i wouldn’t ? Who knows. I’m not however down on those of you who do have nice cars, perhaps you’ve just bought yourself a nice BMW or a Mercedes? Maybe you’ve got one as a company car. I’m guessing most of you drive your car’s in an appropriate and defensive manner ? But there’s always a small minority who spoils it for the rest and it’s been my findings over the last few weeks that they’re mid-range BMW and Mercedes drivers. If it were Rover drivers, i’d write you all an apology. Personally. But it’s not.
