All Estate Agents are arseholes.
Woah!
Backup Rich, that’s bang out of order. You can’t make offensive sweeping generalisations like that. You’ll offend someone. Worse still, if they’re the litigious type you could be in big trouble.
I know, since i’m feeling extra Christmasy, I’ll cut you a deal. I stop with the “Estate Agents are arseholes” line, but you’ve got to pack it right in when it comes to “young people are untrustworthy”. Right in, or there’s no deal.
So my current thoughtful, intelligent, selfless (/sarcasm) have not only managed to drop me in it once, but thoroughly mess me around. (fortunately neither of them read this blog) So i’ve had the glorious task of finding myself a new place to live. And If the impending shadow of forthcoming homelessness is not enough to really cheer you up. You’ve got to deal with satan’s spawn itself. Estate Agents.
A few notes:
1. When it comes to housing I’m pretty sure i don’t need any guidance on what I’m looking for. Point and case – if i ask to see 3 bedroom houses within [budget] in SE London. Please for the love of all things nice don’t show me a flat, bedsit, warehouse or caravan.
2. When we set our maximum budget, that’s exactly what we’re telling you. Any more money per month and we wont be able to afford our rent. We all know how much that would upset you. So don’t waste my time (and yours) by showing me properties around 30% over the maximum. And really REALLY dont leave it until we’re stood infront of the property to break the news that it is “more than i was expecting”.
3. Through sheer luck and constellation alignment we find a fairly acceptable place. You say “furnishing is flexible, move in date can be negotiated” Great, here have some money to keep that house safe. So, now we’ve signed the forms why one earth would you give us an immovable date 4 days after we requested (that’s not negotiation that’s dictation) and tell us we were “stupid” to sign the holding forms on a furnished house if we’ve got our own furniture. BE CONSISTENT
4. Be consistent. If you tell me one thing on Monday, i’ll hold it true on Tuesday. Maybe even Wednesday. Jeez if i told a client I could deliver something in my line of work, I’d be expected to move heaven and hell to achieve it on time or face the p45 flavored consequences.
5. When you ask for a £500 “holding fee”, don’t tell me two days later that a further £500 deposit will be required before the house is taken off the market. Tell me everything at the start. Did i mention that in #4? Be Consistent ? be VERY CONSISTENT.
6. By now we’ve put £1000 down on this property. Its completely unacceptable to use “you’ll lose your house” or “i think you’re forgetting what a bargin you’ve got here” as a retort to every request and question we make. Me: Could we talk about the moving date Estate Agent: You’ll lose the property if you keep making demands like this. No we bloody wont. The holding deposit is there to “hold” the property for us, what you’re doing is using blackmale to facilitate sitting on your fat arse and not ringing the landlord and making a reasonable request. We know what a “bargin” we’re getting, we dont need reminding. Quite frankly if we thought we were getting ripped off we wouldn’t have put the money down and filled out all the forms. WOULD WE ?
This much to shout about, and the moving date (still undetermined) wont be until the end of Septemeber. I should very much expect another rant around that time to document further failings on the Estate Agent’s behalf. We plan to write to head office with this catalogue of complaints once we’re safely moved in